Viva la Vida

Thursday 03.26.2009 05:20PM

I should have written this sooner; I meant to, but got caught up.

My best friend Sheryl's dad passed away this past Saturday. He had fallen and broken his hip on February 22 and had surgery the next day. The surgery seemed to go well from what the doctors said, but he was in a lot of pain even after leaving the hospital. He was in and out of the hospital and rehab a few times after the surgery. This is all in addition to not being in the greatest health to begin with – he had multiple strokes in the past and had been in a wheelchair the last few years. He was at home when he passed, which is apparently where he wanted to be. He didn't want to be in a hospital or something. He was 67.

I was over at a friend's house Saturday night when I just missed a call from Sheryl. I called her back and she was just silent for a moment; I could tell something was wrong. She cried, telling me her dad had died and asked me to drive her to her parents since she didn't think she could do it. I got down there as quickly as possible, of course. I was pretty surprised, honestly. I knew he hadn't been doing too well after the hospital, but I wasn't expecting this. Apparently it wasn't too unexpected, and Sheryl did have time to see him and tell him she loved him in the weeks prior. Still, you always feel like you could have done more.

My heart's broken from the whole situation, and I can't even imagine what it's like to lose a parent. I felt pretty helpless, didn't know what to say, so I just did whatever I could to help. Hug. Listen. Love. Bring Starbucks.

The funeral was yesterday at 10:30AM. She asked me to be a pallbearer.

As I said before, “Enjoy your loved ones and the little connections you make with others' loved ones.” Tell them you love them, now.

Time is so short
And I'm sure
There must be something more

Those who are dead are not dead
They're just living in my head
– “42” by Coldplay

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XXX

Friday 02.13.2009 02:30AM

It is far too late at night for me to be blogging, but it has also been far too long since I have posted; I needed to post this soon, before two months passed.

I turned 30 the day after Christmas.

The “turning 30” thing was not a big deal for me; it did not worry me or really feel that different. The day started (after sleeping in) with receiving a lot of birthday wishes on Twitter and Facebook. It made me smile and be thankful for all the people I am blessed with in my life. Backing up, the day technically started when Isha texted me birthday wishes at midnight. I responded with, “What - no phone call, no singing?”. She called and sang a sleepy (but good) rendition of “Happy Birthday”. I spent the afternoon with Jon and Isha, went to Best Buy to spend some birthday money, then went to the airport to pick up Suzi. We surprised her, since she was only expecting me to pick her up.

For dinner I got together with some friends at The Macaroni Grill. Alex, Jeremiah, Chris, Ian, Jon, Shawn, Niki, Sheryl, and Suzi were there (Isha was bummed to miss it, but understandably had to leave for some emergency best friend duty, rejoining us later). The food was great, as usual (well, the two times I have been), and a guy sang “Happy Birthday” in Italian. Afterwards we went to see Yes Man, which was really entertaining; I recommend it. Allison, Andy, and Chelsey joined us for the movie as well. Determined to keep the party going, we came back to my place and played games until about 3am (Doug and Dan joined us for the later part of the night).

Suzi gave me a Willow Tree figurine, “Heart of Gold”, telling me that I have the biggest heart – Aww :). Sheryl gave me a green-striped track jacket and a book by Pepe the King Prawn, It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp: Life, Love & Living Large. Shawn gave me some Wii points. Allison gave me a card with a disco guy on it – sans confetti falling out of it (one of her trademarks), but the funniness inside made up for it. Niki gave me one of her stuffed animals and one of her signature homemade cards. Front: “Greger a very happy birthday to you.” Inside: “Yeah, sorry about the pizza stains. Isha got less than you did. Enjoy your situation.” The card is made of lined paper, pizza stains, and awesomeness.

The next night, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I somewhat suspected something might be up, but downplayed it in my mind. Sheryl had asked me earlier in the week if she could take me out to dinner at Red Robin. I agreed and she offered me a ride. That seemed odd, since the Red Robin is between us and it would be out of her way to come pick me up instead of meeting me there. We made a stop at Cafe Agape so she could get something from Suzi and, surprise, a lot of my friends were there! We played Rock Band, ate pizza, watched Fred Claus – and yes, I even blew out the torch that was my cake (all 30 candles) with one blow. :)

I was humbled by the surprise party, yet another reminder of how loved and blessed I am. I was content and had a blast with the festivities I had planned the night before, but my friends went above and beyond that and threw a surprise party, too. Thanks, everyone. 30 was a pretty great birthday and I'm looking forward to the next year.

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Christmas is here

Wednesday 12.17.2008 09:49PM

And some rare footage of Sheryl, Suzi, Isha, Shawn, and myself has been revealed for the first time ever!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I've got at least one more Christmas-y blog I'm working on, so stay tuned. :)

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Thankful

Friday 11.28.2008 01:42AM

I have been very blessed to have some great people I call friend in my life. Over the years, life changes have taken some of us different directions, but there has consistently been a group of people around to love and support me. Especially recently, I have received a lot of support about my “transparency” and it has been a big help.

This past Sunday, many of these friends had a pitch-in Thanksgiving dinner. It was great fun to get together and share what we are grateful for. My mom and stepdad were able to come, too, so I was glad to have both my direct family and “second family” there. We will definitely have to do it again.

Two people I am particularly thankful for this year are Sheryl and Isha. Sheryl and I have been friends going on 10 years now and she has consistently been there for me. She is one of the “roots” in my life and I really appreciate that. Isha and I have become best friends this past year and have been tested with highs and lows in each of our lives. She is the first person in my life that I have really worried about losing their life, so I am very thankful that she is alive.

I have been trying to be more purposefully expressive of my thankfulness and I think it has improved my life. It certainly impacts my attitude – I recommend it. Here are some of the “thankfuls” I have posted on twitter.

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Little connections

Friday 08.15.2008 02:25AM

Back on August 3rd I took an afternoon trip with Greg, Ian, and Alex down to Bloomington to visit our friend Isha. She showed us around her hometown and we stopped to visit her famous grandma, Pat Lucas. She has always gushed about how awesome her grandma is, and I think we all realized pretty quickly that it was true. Pat was very sweet and funny, and it was obvious she has a big heart. She worked with the homeless for about 30 to 40 years and did everything she could to help people.

It was fascinating to see how alike she and Isha are. In fact, it came up when Ian laughed at something – Ian has a rather boisterous laugh – that she really liked his laugh, and it made her laugh. She said that I have very caring eyes. These are both things that Isha has said about us. It is one thing to hear something like that from a friend, but from someone you have just met, well I guess that is a pretty good confirmation. I do not think there was any coaching, telling her things to say about us. :)

In 2000, Pat was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. The family thought the cancer was gone, but recently it came out that it had not gone away. Pat had kept it a secret because she did not want people worrying. I do not really know many details, but from some things she said while we were there, it seemed she was trying to get things “in order” for when she passed. Despite that, she seemed in good spirits and decent health; I would not have guessed she was sick if I did not know otherwise. On August 8th she was at her grandson's (Isha's brother) wedding. Yesterday, August 14th, she passed away.

The timing seems so interesting to me. I am really glad I was able to meet her, if only briefly, and I am glad she was able to be at the wedding. Enjoy your loved ones and the little connections you make with others' loved ones.

photo

Isha and her grandma Pat Lucas at the wedding August 8, 2008

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