Let's start the year off right

Sunday 01.24.2010 01:19AM

An addendum to my quite popular How to make a sharp dressed man post:

10a) Wear a sweet vest.
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This was my birthday present from my mom – “Because you're gRegorlove”, she said. I am looking forward to some nice occasion(s) to wear this in 2010; and yes, to start blogging again.

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The next album you purchase

Monday 02.23.2009 01:35AM

Should definitely be:

album cover

* Not a real album. Unfortunately. Instructions to make your own are below.

I like to imagine that PSEUDOGALTARA is a metal band that went electronica. Pronounce the name out loud in a low guttural voice. They had a lot of trolls on the internet and decided to write an entire album about them. The music is really bubble-gum pop – appealing to teenyboppers – hence the color scheme. They have not totally lost their badassed-...ery, though, hence the robot with huge guns. It's the best of all worlds, really.

The meme:

  • Go to Wikipedia and hit “random.” The first random Wikipedia article that comes up is the name of your band.
  • Go to Quotations Page and select “random quotations.” The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page will be the title of your first album.
  • Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days.” The third picture in the top row, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
  • Use Photoshop or a similar program to put it all together.
  • Post the results to your preferred online outlet with this text in the “caption” or “comment”.

The information:

  • Pseudogaltara is a genus of moth.
  • The original photo
  • The quote: “There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.” – Emile Chartier

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How to make a sharp dressed man

Wednesday 12.05.2007 12:12AM

In 13 steps (give or take):

For the optimal experience, open and listen to Sharp Dressed Man while reading.

1) Take one smelly guy.
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2) Dunk guy in water repeatedly until clean. Dry.
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Some may resist this procedure.

3) Apply clean, ironed slacks.
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4) Apply clean white t-shirt.
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5) Apply clean, ironed long-sleeve button-up shirt.
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6) Button up the shirt.
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7) Now button it up correctly, lining up all the buttons with the right holes. Try working top down.
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8) Put on tie.
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9) Nice try. Now tie it.
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10) Around your neck.
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If you're in mild discomfort, but still able to barely breathe, you're doing it right. This is what ties were created for.

11) Put on belt.
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While holding your hands at your side in a superhero pose.

12) Apply socks and shoes. Note: not white socks and tennis shoes.
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Use black socks, with diamond patterns. Ladies love diamonds.

13) Comb hair, apply suit jacket, and look good.
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Voilą, you have a sharp dressed man.

and every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

There's 8 “bonus” pictures on my Flickr starting here, along with some other notes about the set.

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IMAROBOT

Thursday 03.29.2007 02:06AM

Random late night fun, chat transcript:

jeremiah: You're a round what?
gregor: I'm a round “I'm sleeping” or so it should say.
jeremiah: heh
jeremiah: Alright, you keep telling yourself you're sleeping. *nods*
gregor: yep, this is just a bot gRegor programmed
jeremiah: That's freaking awesome. So that means you'll end up repeating yourself at some point or just not make sense at some point when I ask a question. Right?
gregor: Sure!
jeremiah: Awesome.
gregor: Why do you say that's Awesome?
jeremiah: And I love the delayed time between what I type and response time.
gregor: What do you think of delayed time?
jeremiah: Makes it almost seem like it's just someone else gRegor has threatened to IM bot for him.
gregor: Why do you say that?
jeremiah: I think daylight saving time sucks.
jeremiah: Ah, the classic “Why do you say that?”
gregor: Interesting. go on...
jeremiah: lol
gregor: haha
jeremiah: Apparently gRegor has had plenty of experience talking with IM bots.
gregor: Do you like experience talking with IM bots?
jeremiah: And it even shows that the “bot” is typing. Fantastic.
gregor: Why do you say that?
jeremiah: Because it's a fact. My IM shows when you're typing.
gregor: Sure!
jeremiah: Interesting. go on...
jeremiah: No no no. That was an “Interesting. go on...” response.
gregor: Interesting. go on...
jeremiah: The bot BACKSPACED!
jeremiah: lol
gregor: haha
jeremiah: Well then “bot.” Goodnight. I need to focus on this site and the phpbb fetch all for the site.
gregor: haha, you've been talking to a robot all this time, not gRegor! Now send it on to your friends at talktoarobot.com!
jeremiah: lol
gregor: FYI, gRegor may choose to blog this chat transcript.

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Aqua Teen Terrorist Force

Friday 02.02.2007 01:41AM

Maybe I am rehashing what you have already heard, but the bureaucrats have once again narrowly saved us from certain (cartoon) terrorist doom.

There's this cartoon, called Aqua Teen Hunger Terrorist Force. In it is this character named Ignignokt. As part of an advertising campaign, some circuit boards with flashing LEDs (of this character) were placed around Boston (and 10 other American cities, apparently). Someone in Boston mistook them for a bomb and well, the city went into lockdown while the bureaucrats came in to save the day...

...only to find out what is pretty obvious by just looking at these things: they're basically Lite-Brites not bombs.

But police officials said they contained circuit boards with components “consistent with an improvised explosive device.” Oooh.

So far this story is pretty funny, except the two people responsible for placing them were charged with “placing a hoax device” along with disorderly conduct. If you do not see the problem with that sentence, please look up the word hoax.

On the bright side – and bringing much humor back into this – the two held a press conference after being released today, and they talked exclusively about hair. This is a must-watch press conference.

“That's not a hair question.”

Never forget

(image via laurenis)

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