Male Constitution

Here’s a little peek into my past - a document I helped write along with a couple of friends in high school. I believe it was our sophomore year. Amazing how most of it still applies today. I put it up here at the request of one of the signers, and for a little bit of nostalgia. Enjoy.

Note: BCS = Bethesda Christian Schools

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We, the men of BCS, demand that the women of BCS DO NOT set us up with another girl unless WE want them to. Physical force may be used if this problem persists.

May the force be with us!

Clause #1: “Going out as friends*” involves a regular date, but each party pays their own way. No exceptions (see clause 11).

Clause #2: “Going out as friends” must not be required to operate as a person/student. A guy or girl has to stop pursuing annoyingly after a few rejections.
Sub-Clause: The word “few” means no more than 3.

Clause #3: Reciprocity Clause: Girls have the right to reject guys without guilt or warning. Guys have the same right.

Clause #4: NO NOTES. NOTES ARE SATANIC.

Clause #5: Doctrinal Clause: No person shall set up a person with another person of the opposite sex against their will.

Clause #6: Any girl in the process of rejecting a guy must tell the truth** and speak in person. No messengers (included in clause 4)

Clause #7: Due Process

Clause #8: Male Suffrage

Clause #9: If a guy would actually go out with a girl seriously, these rights are not to be infringed upon.

Clause #10: The word “yes” is a word expressing confirmation or consent; the word “no” is a word expressing a negative reply to a question or request. DO NOT CONFUSE THESE WORDS!

Clause #11: Friends do things together but do not pay for each other (see clause 1).

Clause #12: The term “maybe” or other forms of it usually (not always) mean “no” (see definition in clause 10).

Clause #13: Elasticity Clause: Any new developments (within reason) may be added as clauses to the Male Constitution by men only.

AMENDMENTS:

Clause #14: Proven Fact: You can’t live with women, and you can’t live without them.

Clause #15: While at BCS, all students (especially male) shall not make sense. Doing so is a federal offense.

Signed by:
David James Wanaselja, Esq
David Moscrip
Ryan Mcghee
Matt Kissling
Dan Green
Jeremiah Schmidt
Trevor Mottram
Andrew Bucher
Tim Kilbourn
Tice E Estes
Greg Morrill

* The word “friend” is not pronounced with a southern accent unless you are from the South.
** In case the girl doesn’t know, it means conformity to fact or reality, honesty.

If there are any other arguments that a girl brings up, the guy is protected by this fine print, which includes everything not included in the clauses above. We would like to thank the writers of this constitution now: tim kilbourn, greg morrill, andrew bucher and most of all, the girls that we sometimes hate but can't live without.