From My Real Journal

Dated 09/24/02:

Amazing how much slower time seems to be going at this precise moment. Quiet, too, except for that fish tank. Perhaps it is known times of change that are slower like this. It's been two years, time to move.

The air is crisp against my face as I contemplate the last two years. I don't think I used to contemplate change, is it just because I am getting older? I guess the first time I ever really contemplated change was at the end of my Senior year in high school. The big announcement: Divorce.

I still remember that night. I wish I didn't. Mom wanted to meet me for dinner at Mr. Roberts, just outside of Avon. We ate and talked. She mentioned/asked about my desire to live closer to Indianapolis. The idea sparked in my mind "Oh my.. we're moving closer to Indy??" and I was ecstatic for a moment. The seriousness that had overtaken her face, and lack of response to my excitement began to make me realize it was something else.

Pause.

"Your father and I are getting a divorce."

Shock.

Disbelief.

Pinch me, I'm not awake.

Even just recounting that now... I get those same feelings. This isn't my parents story, this must be someone elses story.. right?

Right??

I think from that point on I contemplated change more seriously. This isn't to say all those times have been bad, like that first one. It's to say that time slows down during times of change. It's still the precise moment I started writing this.

It's still the precise moment at the restaurant with my Mother.