Unsolicited advice from Dr. Love
I guess I missed the memo; apparently love is in the air. Well, potential love. Now I'm no pro with the love advice (I mean, I am! I mean - WHGT! JGTH! YES I'M AWESOME!) but I still would like to chime in a few comments and maybe some advice.
I'm sorry, I do not buy this idea that love is a game to be played. Both guys and girls seem to rack their brains trying to figure out what that “one” person is thinking, analyzing and experimenting on all of their smallest nuances. For a long time. The game, I guess, consists of sending out a small signal, then repeating the analyzing and experimenting step all over again. Repeat ad infinitum. Whatever happened to... open communication?
If you are interested in someone, are not sure if they're interested in you, and are having a hard time “moving on” - why not talk to them? Seriously, you can talk with them and find out, or play games for an indefinite amount of time and most likely make things harder for yourself.
“But then that might make things awkward between us, what about our friendship?”
How strong is your friendship if you cannot communicate your feelings without concern over losing them as a friend? I mean, if the friendship is that unstable, are you seriously considering this person for dating? I have not had a friendship “go bad” because I expressed an interest - and I've done it a couple times (it wasn't mutual, but they were probably just in denial, heh heh). Sure, it's not the greatest feeling in the world when you find out there's nothing there, but at least you know and can move on with life instead of wasting so much time playing games. Life is short and there is much to be done - so why get bogged down in games?
This has been a generic, game-free post. It's not directed at anyone in specific. :-]
Responses
BurnDark – I think a big part of it is fear of loss of self. Being in a relationship causes you to lose yourself a bit in the commitment to the other person. But since our culture is so focused on individualism, it plays out into this game where you want to be on the same attachment level as the other person, so you can't just be up front.
Actually, the whole thing is reminiscint of international relations. You don't really trust the representative of the other nation, so you are very careful about what you say and do. And you never, ever give anything withoug getting something in return
SH – Yeah, you really gotta fix that comment problem, gRegor. :-P
SH – Other than the fact that most of the time when you comment, it displays an error so you don't know that it worked. I've had that happen to me several times.
– I haven't been able to reproduce any errors on multiple attempts in Firefox or IE... not much I can do unless I get some more specifics, so what error message do you receive??
SH – Testing to see if I get the error...
SH – Yup. From IE 6.0:
Not Found
The requested URL /archives/log/609/log.php was not found on this server.
Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apache/1.3.31 Server at http://www.gregorlove.com Port 80
SH – I'm getting it every time from IE.
SH – Ok, not every time. I get it when I click your link from Xanga to get to this page, but not when I go in from your home page.
SH – Sheryl Hugill - gRegorLove 4.0 Beta Tester :-D
Laura – amen brotha.
but it is hard to do- not play games.
cause that is what everyone does.
yikes.
lol.:)
brandy – Bueno post, friend. First off - I've “expressed interest”... twice. burnt both times. Now I'm a full believer guys should be the one to initiate it. Dont want to play games? Just take everything for face value. Games dont have to be played if the persons involved dont want to play them.
anyways. the milk challenge. yes. *sigh*. I kicked the ladies bootys. definitely didn't win. There was this one *creepy* dude that was drinking whole milk, and didn't puke. so. I had no chance.
very un-lady like. haha.
shauna – hahah .
I agree wholeheartedly .
boys are stupid
girls are stupider.
oi !
Hadassah – but now you are so much more... but i mean, come on, being an online personality is a great honor in my book... most onliners dont have personalities... even in person...
so congratulations on having an interesting online and in-person personality that is worth talking to... online and in person...
way to go
p.s. my brother is married...
Ron – jerk
Mike C – I like your post.
Please make the reading screener wider. Also, I hate not being able to use my roller ball on the mouse. :)
Later bro!
Welshmnky – <A href="http://www.xanga.com/welshmnky">You've Just received the Baton!</A>
AngstyTeen – Boys suck, end of story!
Crystal – I like that idea.
Crystal – I like the whole “take 'em at face value” thing, which is what I usually end up doing. You try not to read too much into things. In my opinion, if a guy doesn't ask me out, he's probably not interested... but I'm not really into making the “first move”, as it were. Maybe I'm using this as an excuse, but I just don't feel right about it. That's me, that's me, though. Burndark's comment about international relations makes a good point too, tho.
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My name is gRegor Morrill, a.k.a. gRegorLove. I live in San Diego, enjoy tinkering on the web, and try to make people laugh. Yes, “Gregor is a weird name,” and I know gRegor is a weird capitalization. More about me
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Tru Dat.
Sometimes you just gotta put the ole' testicles on the chopping block and hope you get to pick em up still attached afterward.
Testicles:
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