In 13 steps (give or take):
For the optimal experience, open and listen to Sharp Dressed Man while reading.
1) Take one smelly guy.
2) Dunk guy in water repeatedly until clean. Dry.
Some may resist this procedure.
3) Apply clean, ironed slacks.
4) Apply clean white t-shirt.
5) Apply clean, ironed long-sleeve button-up shirt.
6) Button up the shirt.
7) Now button it up correctly, lining up all the buttons with the right holes. Try working top down.
8) Put on tie.
9) Nice try. Now tie it.
10) Around your neck.
If you're in mild discomfort, but still able to barely breathe, you're doing it right. This is what ties were created for.
11) Put on belt.
While holding your hands at your side in a superhero pose.
12) Apply socks and shoes. Note: not white socks and tennis shoes.
Use black socks, with diamond patterns. Ladies love diamonds.
13) Comb hair, apply suit jacket, and look good.
Voilà, you have a sharp dressed man.
and every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
There's 8 “bonus” pictures on my Flickr starting here, along with some other notes about the set.