gRegorLove little g big R


I have been feeling pretty worn and heavy-hearted lately. There's just a lot of stuff going on, and I tend to empathize.

Sheryl's dad passed away in March. Now her brother is having some health issues and is in the hospital. Matt's mom has cancer again, and it's apparently stage 3 or 4. She's having surgery sometime this summer. A marriage is dealing with the repercussions of an affair, as well as the friends around them. There's other things I can't really go into, but those are some key examples. On top of that are my own battles with self, which is another post entirely.

Lately, it just seems like everytime someone turns around, something bad is happening. Most of the time they are things I cannot really do anything about – it feels helpless. I feel like I'm sometimes looked to – even if I cannot “do” anything – to be strong, at least. Not sure how well I'm doing at that. I just feel discouraged. I am weak. I am worn.

I have been reading through the Harry Potter series and it feels like there's a dementor around:

“Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soulless and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.”

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It's not to that extreme, thankfully, but I thought the analogy to current happenings was uncanny. I know that I am loved, and in that I have hope, even if it is often hard to see or grasp that hope. I am still trying.

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Sheryl Sheryl
I hear ya on this... it's like death has just happened so much lately... well, the last few years for me. And other things that have happened... well, it makes me feel kind of numb sometimes. And honestly, sometimes I just don't really know how to feel. I don't want a lot of pity, but sometimes life just really hurts and lately I've been struggling with depression that seems to be unrelated to my dad - but then again maybe it's related in a way I don't recognize. I'm rambling, but yeah... I just want to say that I understand, and I think as long as you are around - sometimes that's just enough to help.

Ben Ben
You're not wrong. You're looked to as a leader. I can't say why you chose it, but you did, and with it comes power. To quote one of my favorite retcons “with great power comes great responsibility”.

It's the responsibility that most of us have trouble with. Our society is largely based on responsibility, but not actually having it, actively trying to get rid of as much of it as possible. Going against the grain is frequently troublesome.

FWIW, I'm doing OK.

Keep your chin up.

Ben Ben
Also, I thought Ron's current thoughts on faith and leadership to be quite relevant.


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