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Wuv, twue wuv

Open discussion post:

What does it mean to you to be “in love” with someone?

Do you use that term, and if so, what's the differentiation between loving someone and being in love with someone. For the sake of discussion, let's presume romantic interest / attraction – so we're not just comparing “I love my friends” to “I'm in love with my spouse”, per se.

No right or wrong answers, just had a chat on the topic so I figured I'd open a discussion post to get others' thoughts. I'll chime in with my own thoughts later.

View responses or leave your own response


five five
If you dream of running away with them, possibly on a unicorn or other mythical creature (or a flying carpet), this could mean that you are really “in love” with that person or creature.

If you only dream of ruling your own kingdom with them, perhaps frolicking in the temple gardens with them (by moonlight or sunlight) it might be an indication that you love them, but aren't quite “in love”.

Paul Whitaker Paul Whitaker
I think my definitions and use have varied, and usually just based on a shared definition with someone else (I usually ask what that means if asked if I'm in love :)). Most recently, I've felt that “in love” is being more passionate than “loving”. I think “in love” has a crazy-heart-skips-can't-wait-to-see-you connotations.

Navarr Navarr
I think I've widely adapted to not using a definition. Love and Being In Love are simply feelings that each person experiences differently and identifies with.

I don't think there is ever truly a proper answer to the question of which you have imposed on us.

Of course not, that's why I said there's no right or wrong answer. Just curious what they mean to you.

Allison Allison
For me, “in love” means it's reciprocated.

Vanessa Vanessa
Well, “love” is not just a feeling, but I think that the use of “being in love” definitely is defining a feeling (and possibly commitment and other things). I think there is a difference, and thus, you could have one without the other.

Isha Isha
Love endures. Love forgives. Love makes you feel safe. Love makes you feel secure. You feel whole, complete and beautiful. Being in love is sharing moments that stick forever. it's smelling some scent and having a rush that they're there, even when you know they're not.

Being in love isn't something you “fall” into, it's not a puddle. It's a place you work towards, it's a decision. You don't get to love because that's what you're “trying” to do. You learn to love, you commit to love.

Love is putting someone else first. Love is wanting to see the other person succeed.

Being in love is the strongest bond that I've ever had and it's the hardest one to break, the hardest thing to walk away from.

There is no formula. Love is a journey, each unique to each situation.

Also, I love you, gRegor!

the spheric1 the spheric1
I define love as “seeking another's good”. That's mainly an action, and doesn't necessarily have to involve any feelings.

I use the terms “infatuation” or “having a crush” to describe a “romantic” type attraction to someone, when I don't actually know that person well enough to know if I'd really want to be in that type of relationship with them exclusively.

I reserve the term “being in love” for when I have a romantic attraction to someone and I know them well enough to know that I desire to be in a long term relationship with them.

I find it interesting that although I think of “being in love” as an emotion, the mind definitely tied up in the mix too.

fia fia
I used to think of being in love as the romantic aspect of love and would only use the term as such. But there have been two different types of situations when I have used the term that made me rethink my original stance. I have used it in reference to Jesus and my daughter as well as Tim. So I think the meaning has changed for me.

To love someone to me is a statement of commitment. To be in love us to be overwhelmed with the nature of that relationship at that moment. I often use it when I am overcome with emotion.

Cora Cora
I know I'm late because I just read your next post but I have to say that being “in love” is equal to infatuation. Loving a person is a choice.

Also, I also love you, gRegor!


Ellen Ellen
The “in love” phrase leads me to think of the romantically interested in pursuing the relationship with the person even deeper. Feeling like you want to spent every minute just being with them.

However, when it comes to the general defining of loving someone I think there are degrees of love. We who speak English [even foreign accented LOL] are at a distinct disadvantage to other foreign languages like Greek which had at least 3 different words to immediately distinguish which degree of love was meant.

Kindness, friendship, caring, brotherly love, empathetic and sympathetic, nurturing, enticing and even passionate and explosive --- we are dependent on adjectives to help us define our love, are we?

Nevertheless, IMHO “Love” at it's utmost is wanting to do absolutely anything in my ability and within the realm of my moral beliefs for another person's benefit, even if it means that I must sacrifice something of myself in order to bestow that benefit.

My perfect definition may seem like a cop-out to a lot of people, but I truly believe “God IS Love”. And Jesus Christ lived as the perfect example. So the more closely I adhere to the practice of treating others as God does, the more loving I am. Obviously, that doesn't discount that there is an exclusive expression and bonding that I share with my husband that is of a deeper love than any other human. That is a wonderfully unique fulfillment of the “two shall become one” kind of love that God tells of in the Scriptures.

When we were “falling in love” I think we were infatuated with the feelings of drawing closer together as we saw that the other may truly be the life mate that God intended for us. I believe that we enjoyed being “in love” with one another because we were truly thankful for how the very presence of this loved one made us feel --- fulfilled, happy, joyful, “on cloud nine”, tingly, understood, attractive, wanted, needed and cared for.

Steve and I recently celebrated twenty-five years of marriage after dating exactly four years prior to our wedding day. I can honestly say that I am still “in love” with this wonderful man. We have not always had the warm fuzzies for each other, each and every second of those years. However, I can absolutely say that I am more in love with him today than I was when I first met him!

When first dating we all have our best foot forward with fine clothes and dress, hair and makeup all set. Yet, to me personally, that is an external show that anyone can see. Much deeper love comes from peeling that aside and allowing the other person to enter into our inner selves. The transparency that we give to a loved one draws us closer together. Yet it is this act of opening ourselve up, that exposes us not only to deep hurt, but the opportunity for greater love. True sharing of ourselves with another.

After we communicate the acknowledgements of shortcomings, the need for and grantings of forgiveness, and meeting and surpassing trials ; all of these hurdles have helped to grow our love even deeper because we cling to the true love that comes from God.

God promised in His Word that ALL things that come into our life would work together for our good. Not that each thing that comes into our life is guaranteed to be a good thing at the time. But, that we could trust that it would work out to be for the better. God promised that He would NEVER leave nor forsake us. He loves us so much that there is absolutely nothing that any person, thing, or power can do to separate me from His love. And that includes any stupid things that I do myself which might mess things up! Hallelujah!

Therefore, my answer to what does it mean to “be in love,” is that there is no other person which I would want to be with more, to please more, and to know even more. There is no one else that I can trust with my secrets, shortcomings and fears as much as this person who I am deeply in love with. And finally, when I am not able to be with this loved one in person, I ache with the longing to be with them again.

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