There have been “good” periods in there, but I keep returning to this. That post still puts it best, so I will not rehash it.
“Hope” and more recently “accepting grace” have been the things I strive to hold onto. I think I am out of hope, though. I truly do not feel there is hope for me.
Twenty years. That's how long I have been battling this. I am 33. That's practically 2/3 of my life. Thousands of vain attempts to overcome. I lack self control and despise myself as a result.
I know, I should probably see a therapist again. I think it would be another vain attempt and waste of money.