gRegor Morrill on gregorlove.com:Respectfully, it sounds like you're centering the fun *for you* over the harm/hurt that can be done to the marginalized, even by well-intentioned people.
Being corrected may not feel comfortable and maybe you (general you) aren't used to thinking so closely about what you say, but these discomforts reflect our privilege and pale in comparison to the harm/hurt done to marginalized.
I think the XOXO community has been great about correcting people in a way that gives them room to grow -- as long as we're willing to listen, learn, and grow (vs. brushing it off and repeating the mistakes willfully)