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I'm really starting to dislike this semester a whole lot. Not very thrilled with school altogether, actually. I'm some 39 credit hours away from having my bachelors degree, yet these 300-level classes often leave me with a big question mark, confused and only understanding enough to barely get by.

How will the remainder of my classes be, then, mostly being 400-level classes? I seriously wonder if I'm going to be able to graduate with a decent GPA. It's like I told someone in my one class when they found out I got a 60-something on the midterm (they seemed surprised at the low grade) "I just look smart, but I'm not really." Not like I think I'm stupid - I know I'm not. But I'm not really as smart as most people think.

[side note: I didn't feel too bad about that grade since this guy in our class, Dave, who is really smart.. he doesn't even come to most classes unless there's a test or quiz, and he gets good grades - well he got like one point more than me]

Anyway, I guess I'm kind of second-guessing myself on this whole thing. Of course, wonderful timing, now that I'm practically finished and it would be stupid not to finish. I mean, supposedly I really want to work in youth ministry and/or music to a large extent ("So why are you a computer science major?" is the typical question). I had at one point planned on going to ORU (God's will for my life), but got an incredible deal for IUPUI (uh, free), so I re-evaluated and decided I would get a computer science degree and could use that as a "tent-making" sort of thing, eventually working FT in ministry. I didn't rule out going to a Christian college at some later point, but at the same time I realized I didn't necessarily have to have a piece of paper from a Christian college saying I could "do ministry" in order to be in ministry.

I dunno, maybe it's like inverse senioritis that I'm getting or something.