Lately I feel so.. cold. Spiritually. It bothers me. Or at least I know that it should. Does it, really? It's been over a year since I've cracked open open my Bible for some serious reading or meditating on God's Word, much less prayed consistently. Church doesn't really count here.
I miss discipline. I used to be a much more disciplined person, now I'm just a huge slacker. I feel like I sleep and work, and nothing else. And sleep devours more of my life every day. 8 hours never seems to be enough. I get home from work at 3AM and since I'm wide awake I do not go to sleep. I kill time online chatting or watching a movie, then it's 5 or 6AM until I finally get to sleep. I wake up late afternoon, my day practically gone. Typically I've slept through one of my classes by this point, which is why I dropped that class. So now I'm down to 6 credit hours this semester, just two classes. Should be feasible, but I still am hardly doing anything for those. I'm tired of school. Maybe it's just senioritis, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's more than that. I should probably do one of those weekly schedules where I plan out every hour and then stick to it, to at least help me be more productive, but I'm not holding my breath on following through with that.
Wanting something won't mean I will see it through.
Another thing I've thought about lately is that for the first time in a while I don't really have many friends in my everyday life that I consider close. There are those who are out of state that I have been close friends with before, and still consider great friends (probably always will), so it's not like I have nobody, these people just aren't a part of my everyday life obviously. I used to have close friends as part of my everyday life, but things changed. I pushed, or they pulled, or.. something. Who knows. I do have many friends (who are good friends, a blessing, and a part of my everyday life) so to those reading, please don't be offended as if I'm overlooking what I do have, because I do appreciate you.
I don't do this often on here. Maybe I should, though I guess there's not a whole lot more to say than what I have. I'm not trying to be “emo”, if that's what you're thinking jeeves (heh). If you're the praying type, prayers would be appreciated.