When nothing comes out

I've been up and down lately.

First of all, I didn't graduate. I didn't get the necessary grade in the stat class, and apparently another class that was an Incomplete got marked as an F. I need to contact that professor and find out what the deal is with that. I haven't done anything yet because, well, the whole situation is rather depressing. See, this was my third time taking the stat class... and third time that I didn't pass it (so very close with a D+). Getting the F fixed is only half the problem, I'm still going to have to take the stat class... again. I feel pretty stupid, and really have no desire to take another class. I can't very well let myself just quit now, though, one class from a degree. I don't know what I'm doing yet, but I'm not taking the class this semester.

Second, for lack of a better term, I have been in a “funk” lately with my relationships. I find myself with little to nothing to say to my friends, but not for lack of desire. It feels kind of empty - like turning on the faucet for a drink of water, but nothing comes out. I am surrounded with some great people for friends and know how much of a blessing they are, but ironically I feel rather lonely at times. I feel that because of my “funk” I'm not a very good friend to them right now, which is sad.

I suppose I'm not entirely without something to say to my friends. I have just told you where I'm at emotionally, after all. It wasn't easy for me, but I think getting these things out will be a step in the right direction. I am sorry if I have not been the greatest friend lately. If you're the praying type, your prayers would be appreciated.

❦

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published August 24, 2006

Responses

Jonny Boy – August 24, 2006
If it will make you feel any better, I was an Econ minor in college. Took my fair share of calc and stats courses. If you'd like the help. It might take me a sec to remember it, but I might be of some use.

I am a teacher after all. :)

Ali – August 25, 2006
I think most of us have had that (at least) one problem problem course in college. Don't let it psych you out. Just focus all your attention on it next time, and spend lots of time with the professor outside of class asking questions - that helps a lot (not only because you learn more, but because he/she might be a little more lenient with the grades). It sounds like you're heading in the right direction with getting your relationship troubles turned around. At least you're aware of what's going on - that's usually the major obstacle.

almyssi – August 25, 2006
im the praying type...

almyssi – August 25, 2006
but youre still not invited to canada.

Sheryl – August 25, 2006
You know, sometimes it's not about SAYING anything to your friends. <shrug>

That sucks about school. But you will finish - and you know that. That's what's important.

– August 25, 2006
I'm not sure what you're suggesting, if you are (?)

– August 25, 2006
To clarify, of course I realize there's more to friendship than having something to say. And I'm not beating myself up over this. I'm just trying to work through some things and be a better friend.

Jessica the Thorn – August 25, 2006
Gregor,

I hope I'm not being presumptuous, and if I am, you're the forgiving type. Ha ha. But you know, as other people have already mentioned in other comments, you will finish, but maybe it's in a different way than you thought. In every hardship there's a message from Jesus, and maybe it's not so much about you feeling adequate or efficient or foolish for failing, but the human condition is weakness and your response to admit your own is very positive. Sometimes I feel funky with my friends, even though there may be nothing really wrong, because the Lord is leading me to a deeper understanding of Himself and internally that's what I REALLY need and desire. It's like, you don't abandon your friends, but let your pal Jesus be your closest one, even closer than you think he is now. The class and school failing and situation lends and understandable discouragement, but you've been so driven to finish, maybe you need to rest. So, as I am also the praying type, I will pray for direction and peace for you brother.

almyssi – August 25, 2006
um. what if you were mysteriously invited to canadia? you SO would come. dont lie to my face.
and im no where close to being a punk. thats laura.

Jonny Boy – August 27, 2006
Myssi has a problem of getting in the way of 4th gear when she rides in my truck. I'd say it only happens when there are 3 of us in there but that would be a lie.

Fia – August 30, 2006
Haha. Yeah, I was searching my name because a few of my classmates were talking about looking each other up on google and I like to keep tabs on public information about me. :)

Jonny Boy – August 31, 2006
Yep, well... I don't work that day, but I do work that night, 7:30-11:30.

If fun stuff with going during the day count me in/totally game for it/ready for someone to bring it. If you need me to be for clear I can, but that would involve mass amounts of profanity.

Jonny Boy – August 31, 2006
Oh no reference to anything. Just thought it would add some spice to the post.

And do you really have mant problems with “spammers.” I mean seriously...

Kyle Schlenz – September 1, 2006
Hey, Gregor. Sorry I missed that Wolfie concert. I really wanted to be there, but I got called in to work. I see you know my housemate Jon, as well (Krazmataz). How weird. Anyway, saw the Violet Burning again last night. Very cool band. You're not a Skillet fan, are you? I'm going to Shoutfest in Kentucky next weekend and am looking for someone to tag along. Just a thought. Laters!