gRegorLove little g big R

What’s Next?

I keep mentally circling around the themes I wrote about earlier this year in “Grown Up Thoughts”. I don't know if the word to describe how I’m feeling is “dissatisfaction,” or maybe “adrift.” I know I should probably talk to a therapist about it, but for now this is a form of therapy.

It’s been a rough few months this summer. I broke up with Amanda in June. It was a really tough decision, especially with the weight of having moved out here for the relationship. It was complicated, as relationships tend to be. We are still friendly and I anticipate it will remain that way. I don't regret moving here to try.

Now I find myself in a town that I generally like, but where I am not well-connected. It’s been lonely. I have a couple friends through church and I have been going to some meetups to meet new people. People are friendly here, but it takes time to build good connections. My lease is through May and I’m not sure what I’m doing at that point. When I think about moving, it feels a bit like a Catch 22. It is hard to get better connected if I’m planning on moving; moving most likely means starting from scratch again to make new friends. I am reminding myself that I do not have to decide right now. I’m just taking it a day at a time.

I will be 38 in a few months and the recurring internal questions are about what direction I want to head. I enjoy and am proud of my work, but a lot of things in the world bother me. The refugee crises are important to me, as well as the Black Lives Matter movement. I’ve really only done some online advocacy, which can be important, but I also want to do practical things. I’m currently looking into ways that I can get involved with helping refugees settle in America.

So that’s where I am at currently: What’s next?

View responses or leave your own response


Tim Loyer, Christopher Siler, Josh Oberheide, and 9 others

Isha Schmackers Isha Schmackers
Less than 3.

I love that your potential next steps are not self serving.

You should probably add: eat ice cream, some pizza and have random dance parties.

Always here, bff.

Ps: thanks for the age reminder, but you'll always be XXX to me.

Gregor Morrill Gregor Morrill
You know me, dancing alllll the time.

Laurie Guerrettaz Laurie Guerrettaz
Re: refugee resettlement. I'm interested in that, too, and it's pretty easy to get involved here in Indy on a volunteer basis. I haven't gotten for with that because of health issues.

I think it's great that you are reminding yourself that you have time to decide. Mindfulness only happens with practice.

Isha Schmackers Isha Schmackers
It's a good pick me up. ;-)

Laurie Guerrettaz Laurie Guerrettaz
And, there are internships I e applied for, I think one of them is Social justice movements with momentum are out there. That one's based in D.C.

Isha Schmackers Isha Schmackers
Let's read another book together. Sheryl too!

Gregor Morrill Gregor Morrill
Cool! There's some organizations in Seattle I'm going to get connected with.

Gregor Morrill Gregor Morrill
ice cream and pizza have a permanent position on my todo list.

Allison Clark Allison Clark
Much empathy and prayers to live the questions.

Gregor Morrill Gregor Morrill
Thanks, Allison. I like that.

Allison Clark Allison Clark
I tend to be very impatient with myself--more than the "next" sometimes. So it's good to meditate on the waiting. And hope for grace to believe nothing is wasted.

Cora Cora
Hi. Dang. And, are you in Seattle? Have you been to a concert at the abbey? I think that's what is called.

Katt Chisare Katt Chisare
Move to Virginia when your lease is up! This town sucks but at least it has me

Scott Drake Scott Drake
@gRegorLove Fact: Angie's List is hiring developers, engineers, coders, et. al. So... Maybe Indy is next.

gRegor Morrill gRegor Morrill
@DemSycamore Haha, very unlikely. Not looking to switch from my telecommute job just yet. Thanks for the thought though. :)

Sheryl Hugill Sheryl Hugill
I am kind of with you on the what's next thing. Overall, I'm pretty happy with where I'm at. But I feel like there are areas I could do or be more and areas where I'm not making the progress I want to. Asking what's next is a good thing, I think.

Sheryl Hugill Sheryl Hugill
Random dance parties. You're welcome.

Gregor Morrill Gregor Morrill
Ha! I didn't know you were in VA; thought you'd be in NY forever. :)

Katt Chisare Katt Chisare
No lol. Couldn't afford to be a mom in New York. Virginia has its nuances.

Tim Loyer Tim Loyer
I'm also interested in helping refugees. There's a website like airbnb that allows you to share your house with refugees or domestic abuse victims. We should chat some time. :)

Alan Gallivan Alan Gallivan
We could use more help here in Louisiana. All Hands is well-rated, and our setup in Baton Rouge's disaster relief efforts has been an uncommonly beneficial exercise of "the way things should be", with many people actively practical in their "what's next" search.

I think if you came here, I am confident you would consider the time well spent, for its own sake and as part of your search. Plus, you'd get to see your favorite ex-roommate!

At any rate, I know you might have other commitments, but if you could free yourself from them, or bring them with you, I think you would enjoy a visiting lending a hand to these people who are rebuilding their lives and asking in some fundamental ways the same questions.

Brooke Corcoran Brooke Corcoran
@gRegorLove I'm sorry to hear about you & Amanda, but so glad to know you are OK & wanting to help 2 great causes. Press on , friend.

Lucy Dates Lucy Dates
Home is where the heart is... you have lots of compassion to share!

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